{"id":5675,"date":"2023-01-28T13:55:14","date_gmt":"2023-01-28T18:55:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/?page_id=5675"},"modified":"2023-01-28T13:55:14","modified_gmt":"2023-01-28T18:55:14","slug":"drywall-rudder-whos-on-first","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/?page_id=5675","title":{"rendered":"“Getting a Good Mudder’s Murder!”"},"content":{"rendered":"

B<\/em><\/strong>acon <\/em><\/strong>S<\/em><\/strong>crapins <\/em><\/strong>\u2013 \u201cGettin\u2019 a Good Mudder\u2019s Murder!\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Bacon Scrapins<\/em><\/strong> are the little bits of meat left in the greasy fry pan. They\u2019re tasty, but the nutrition needs searching for. This tale is a<\/em> bacon scrapin<\/em><\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jorge and I had been walking back from a session of pickleball and we paused at the bottom of his drive to chat.<\/p>\n

He explained the difficulties of getting \u2018straight\u2019 wood off a pile at the MegaWoodWare place, and how it took two people to get boards properly aligned for fastening. \u201cBig job!\u201d, he concluded.<\/p>\n

After I pause, I offered, \u201cYah! Big job. I\u2019m lookin\u2019 for a good mudder!\u201d<\/p>\n

He squinted his eyes and asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with the muth\u2019r you had?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI never had a mudder. Unless you count the time when we did the reno. on the ceilings and kitchen walls before we moved in.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour muth\u2019r did your ceilings?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSure, set up scaffold and went right to it. Works for a private contractor. Unavailable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour muth\u2019r works for a private contractor, not deceased?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, the mudder\u2019s still kickin\u2019, works for a private contractor. Unavailable.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour muth\u2019r\u2019s still kicking. Not deceased?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot that I\u2019ve heard. Still mudderin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you\u2019re looking for another muth\u2019r?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYup. A good one!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd your muth\u2019r was a bad one?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, I told you. Just not available. Works for a contractor.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou never, really \u2018had\u2019 a muth\u2019r then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNope. Was private.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, that makes you immaculate?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cImmaculate? Well, I showered this morning and these are clean shorts and tee. Doesn\u2019t make me immaculate!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYour birth, it must have been immaculate?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s with immaculate birth? The stuff I\u2019ve done it\u2019s a miracle I\u2019m still living!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK\u201d, Jorge asked, \u201cwhat do you think you need this new, good, muth\u2019r for?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve got wrinkles in the stairwell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWrinkles in the stairwell?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWrinkles in the stairwell!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou need a new muth\u2019r because you\u2019ve got what wrinkles in the stairwell?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen the sun comes through the transom over the front door in the afternoon it shines on the wall down the open stairwell. At a certain angle it shows wrinkles.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe sun shows wrinkles on the wall of the stairwell in the afternoon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYup!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does that have to do with you need a good muth\u2019r instead of the one you were born with?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI wasn\u2019t born with my mudder. I told you\u2019s with a private guy, and at least 30 years younger than me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait a minute!\u201d, says Jorge. \u201cThis muth\u2019r isn\u2019t your mother?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! My mother is dead. I want a good mudder to fix the wrinkles in the drywall in the stairwell.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOhhhhh!\u201d, says Jorge with sudden inspiration. \u201cYou need a person, maybe a guy, to spread drywall compound on the wall, smooth it out so there are no wrinkles, no dimples and no pop-ups!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAbsolutely!\u201d I reply, \u201cLike I said, guy or gal, I\u2019m lookin\u2019 for a good mudder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYah,\u201d agreed Jorge, \u201cgettin\u2019 a good mudder\u2019s murder!\u201d<\/p>\n

NOTE: Characters in this Bacon Scrapins tale are fictional.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/span>You may send appropriate email comments to the writer at thisiswilmot@gmail.com<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bacon Scrapins \u2013 \u201cGettin\u2019 a Good Mudder\u2019s Murder!\u201d \u00a0Bacon Scrapins are the little bits of meat left in the greasy fry pan. They\u2019re tasty, but the nutrition needs searching for. This tale is a bacon scrapin. Jorge and I had been walking back from a session of pickleball and we paused at the bottom of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":4072,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-5675","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5675","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5675"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5675\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5676,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5675\/revisions\/5676"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4072"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5675"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}