{"id":5888,"date":"2023-11-28T18:27:09","date_gmt":"2023-11-28T23:27:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/?page_id=5888"},"modified":"2023-11-30T09:27:18","modified_gmt":"2023-11-30T14:27:18","slug":"oh-my-oh-my-oh-my","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/?page_id=5888","title":{"rendered":"“Oh my! oh my! Oh my!”"},"content":{"rendered":"

B<\/em><\/strong>acon <\/em><\/strong>S<\/em><\/strong>crapins <\/em><\/strong>\u2013 \u201cOh my! Oh my! Oh my!\u201d\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n

\u00a9 by Barry S. Wolfe<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Bacon Scrapins<\/em><\/strong> are the little bits of meat left in the greasy fry pan. They\u2019re tasty, but the nutrition needs searching for. This tale is a bacon scrapin<\/em><\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n

My wife and I usually share chores fairly. In practice, that means that I do my half, and then she comes along, fixes my part, and does her 90%.<\/p>\n

Christmas is a big deal for my wife. It\u2019s why we don\u2019t leave for Florida until after the big day, spent with a grandson. The month before is the time for preparing the Christmas cards to send out. We still send cards, very little of that email meme stuff.<\/p>\n

Marilyn pulls out her saved pile of received cards from last year, checks it against some mental list of \u2018should send to\u2019 and then revises last year\u2019s list accordingly with a couple of drops and a couple of add-ons.\u00a0 I then enter the data onto the address label program, formatted for 2-column printing, and then run them off onto adhesive label paper.<\/p>\n

She looks at each card from last year, reads again whatever was sent, and then personalizes this year\u2019s outgoing card. Each card goes into the envelope, she sticks the label on it and puts them all into a pile.<\/p>\n

We live in a nine-stop-sign-sized community in the country, so we have to drive 10 minutes into town for services like the post office. I pulled up in front along the snow-banked curb, behind another SUV, and waited while she went in the get stamps and put the cards in the mail.<\/p>\n

Five cards to the States and 29 locals take a long time to sort and stick. My part of this job is waiting patiently at the curb outside, glancing every once in a while at the front door to see if she\u2019s coming or not. The rest of the time I practice my mental flat-line. Nothing in, nothing out. A relaxing stupor, unless something in my line of vision changes.<\/p>\n

The passenger door handle lifted and the side door opened. I had missed it. I didn\u2019t see her coming out. Her head was above the roof level but I could see a familiar purse strap looped over an arm of the coat. But the coat was different. A white-haired head peeked in and \u2013 it wasn\u2019t my wife. I said, \u201cWhere are we off to now?\u201d<\/p>\n

She screeched, \u201cOh my! You aren\u2019t him! There\u2019s a hat on the seat. Oh my, I\u2019m at the wrong car.\u201d<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cThat\u2019s OK. Did you call for an UBER? I\u2019m him.\u201d<\/p>\n

She said, \u201cOh my! Oh my! Oh my! I\u2019m so sorry!\u201d She looked ahead of us, and there was another SUV, similar colour, different model.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my! I got the wrong car. I got the wrong car. Have a good day!\u201d She swung the door shut and in a flustered walk went to the car ahead and opened its door. I could see her lips moving and her arms gesturing back at me, obviously explaining to her husband what she had done.<\/p>\n

She eventually got in and their car pulled out onto the snowy road. I swear I could still read her lips and hear her, as the car disappeared over the bridge out of sight, saying, \u201cOh my! Oh my! Oh my!\u201d<\/p>\n

Oh my, you\u2019ve got to love Christmastime in small towns!<\/p>\n

The Bacon Scrapins characters, locations and scenarios are the fictional product of the author\u2019s imagination \u2013 usually.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

You may email appropriate comments for the writer to<\/em>\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>thisiswilmot@gmail.com<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bacon Scrapins \u2013 \u201cOh my! Oh my! Oh my!\u201d\u201d \u00a9 by Barry S. Wolfe \u00a0Bacon Scrapins are the little bits of meat left in the greasy fry pan. They\u2019re tasty, but the nutrition needs searching for. This tale is a bacon scrapin. My wife and I usually share chores fairly. In practice, that means that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":4072,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"template-fullwidth.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-5888","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5888","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5888"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5888\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5902,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5888\/revisions\/5902"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/4072"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisiswilmot.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5888"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}