Bacon Scrapins – “It’s just what ants do!”
Bacon Scrapins are the little bits of meat left in the greasy fry pan. They’re tasty, but the nutrition needs searching for. This tale is a bacon scrapin.
My daughter graduated from the University of Waterloo, specializing in Environmental Business. Who knew there was such a combination? Her dad didn’t! Since graduation she’s moved onward and upward through 4 companies located in KW, using her learned and self- developed skills.
She quickly rhymed off at least nine local companies who specialize in providing environmental advice to developers of subdivisions, large buildings, bridges, etc. It seems nothing gets approved and built in the Region unless there is environmental advice from folks like biologists and hydrologists (something about soil erosion prevention), and there are hundreds of people in the area who help keep us safe in our planning. A major employer. I was impressed!
Which brings me to bugs, like pill bugs and ants. My daughter says pill bugs are those little guys that roll up into a little ball with their legs tucked inside when you startle them. It seems they ‘eat’ soil and clean metals out of the soil. Weird. Ants, however, are a ‘conflicting’ story for me.
Ants have been around for 80 million years and outlasted the dinosaurs who gave-it-up only 65 million years ago. So, stubborn is one ant descriptor. They eat the remains of dead insects and plants. OK, good, they’re garbage recyclers. They dig tunnels and holes and allow air and water into the soil. OK, good, they increase nutrient content in soil. The worker ants don’t reproduce so they sacrifice everything for the Queen ant. Yup, no different than us. Everything has a price – we work and sacrifice to our ‘Queen’ tax collector. Here’s where the ‘conflicting’ feelings about ants comes in for me.
My back patio is made of small interlocking stones that have been laid on a raised crushed stone base. Like everything built on land, it has shown some attrition. Some stones are tilted at the edges as the outside retaining stones ‘creep’ outward. But there are also several spots where they seem to have sunk, leaving potentials for ankle surprises if you tread on them. You anticipated correctly. The dips, as I learned, were caused by ants building nests under my patio.
I don’t care if they got here 80 million years before me. They picked a bad spot to settle. They’re not getting any patio space from me. They have lots of choices where they can do their thing for the environment and the survival of the planet. None of them include under my patio.
I discovered these little critters as I was removing sunken stones, to then add crushed stone base, and replace the interlock. When I pulled out a stone, 23 million miniscule, previously hidden, ants decided they were going for my hands and wrists. I don’t know if they thought they could over power me with their combined weight, wrestle me to the ground, and add me to their nutrient supply underground, but I was having nothing to do with their plans.
My first response was to brush them off, gently, with loving care and concern for them and their loved ones underground. They upped the ante (no pun intended) by sending for backup. More troops arrived to protect their Queen and buddies below deck. Of course, I started playing for real. Smack! Stomp! Crush! It was a battle for the patio.
Because I love my daughter, and respect her feelings about ‘the-balance-of-nature’, and learning how to share space with others, I considered my next step carefully. It took all of 2 seconds to decide.
If the ants won’t share space elsewhere than the territory which the dominant entity – me – has occupied. If they won’t stop being a nuisance and interfering with my simple attempts to level the playing field – my patio. If they won’t fulfill their lives and destiny in an alternate spot, like the rest of my lawn. Then there are consequences!
They make stuff for this situation. It comes in a spray bottle. It works!
Any time in future, if I notice them back on the patio, then a squirt is what they’ll get. If they take their colony elsewhere, like on the lawn, then we can share space, like my daughter tells me is “good”.
But, for sure, they’ll be back. It’s just what ants do!
Characters in these tales are fictional.
You may email appropriate comments for the writer to thisiswilmot@gmail.com